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December 25, 2008

The Rainy Days Of Christmas

The bell sound on the 12 at the midnight. people begin screaming and jumping. Firework decorate very beautiful all around the sky. The dark night are full of light. The day after that. Everyone create a beautiful line in a story.... Where the smile, laugh and tears all never be able to erase. On that line...... People will cry to return there... Today is Christmas. the busy cellphone always making noise saying I got message from friends. There is nothing else people could say. "Marry Christmas". I begin smile when I read them. I walk around visiting friend on this day... Lot of house are all busy and there...... A spirit of energy born. Relationship... Everybody love it. Everybody celebrate them doesnt matter rich or poor. Its Christmas. the day where we create smile and miracle might happen. At my place here. Its raining. I saw a lot of people still walking around because its once a year. When I look at that rain. I begin to think. On this great day. All sadness are hidden and people forget them. just like this... People all walking around and still celebrating Christmas on this great day even there is sadness in everyone. There, we create a miracle where we understand the true word of "happiness". Even how weak we are, there might be something can change our way..... Marry Christmas everyone.

December 22, 2008

The Past And Very Great Memory

I hope people could share with me about the best past and memori with me... Few days ago. I just walking around and I pass by somewhere.. I heard the noise. Its sweet and lovely. the bouncing of basketball never change. I had been so long didnt play with friend and so long doesnt jump and shoot. Its hard and pain. I see many kind of feeling for people while playing this game. I had a friend that very snobbish. He never let people score even own team. If miss, he will scold us. I scold him for that and give him a lesson... I just walk away because even we are there we are also not there. Invisible? Maybe... I choose this game to play for school is because to spend more time with friend and to learn the word 'fun'. Later on when everyone herad I had a broken leg. the sound of bouncing is lately gone because Im not there anymore. My friend realize that even how he is in basket. Still, he not good enough to understand the word 'team'. Now, they play for me and I am very happy for them. Im glad the bouncing of basket is also a diary for my memory. I love soccer too. I always play on the front because I had a very strong kick and lt of people afraid and fight for it. Day after day... It turn into a meteor. Extremely strong but then I realize... The ball is stronger and faster but I had accuracy probelm... Not because I not good in kick but I had problem with leg. The harder and faster I kick. It gives preasure to my leg. Its deadly pain. I take easy on that so I still play basket. Someday, i had the worse pain ever. I meet alot of specialist and its no cure. Everything now turn into a sweet tears. I really miss to shoot and jump shoot also kick. I always have the picture on my head for how I kick and shoot. I wish I could know what people and friend sweet moment....

If We Got Option To Decide Our Life... What Will Everyone Go?

If every single human got option to decide their life. Which way will they go? I asking myself on the same question too. Which way will I go?Pls share with me which way do everyone will go? Easy for the begining or the end. Maybe forever we control the life? For the begining I think I will choose I handle the world. When I choose that way. I suddenly afraid to be like that. It sounds like we are God and it might be enjoying life for the begining but later...... We wont be able to feel how and we will forget for our sense. We didnt feel pain and undead. Everything we want in totally complete and over than complete. Finally I become a game. Like we are playing some kind of game. We want this and that all happen but I might be useless for myself. Being how we are right now is better. Doesnt matter what easy first or what hard first. As long as it come first than we had to break the wall. We begin from nothing to the best. If I be able to decide my option for my life now... I choose depend on God. Which is right now. If we handle our life like God. There is something that never be able to erase... The unfairness that people migh think. I never love those stuff. Its so uncool. Beside, I wont be able to feel the true love. There is no tears... So I decide myself. I go on like how I am right now but I bagging God to gave me the sign for where I can find my light.

What Is The Future Before Everyone?

As everybody read on the tittle... What is the future before us? I'm hoping everybody could share with me about what people might think on their future... I really appreciate your comment. I might be not right at this or maybe something but this is what i think. People always love the past more than the future. For me, because of the past that is why future happen. I always love future. Even I dont know but I believe on my own future. Maybe it not cool or bad but I still on the road to future so I might be able to take my future. We will never be able to take future but we still can change the future. Like we can take them. Of course I will say not damn easy. Lots of problem I hear from thousand of human. The way to solve the problem is actually we ourselve. I keep on trying to find a way so I can choose a bright future but the me right now is also the future for the past so I believe God do help us to give us option. I believe some doesnt go on because of few mistake. However, we got option. My objective to telling people about this future is actually to hear what and to share something that might be a little complicated to get it. I owe a pendant. I keep it always. I called it 'the Dark Hopeless Pendant' because its dark and grey but there is a symbol of sun. Its saying that the sun is far and trap in the darkness. However, this pendant wont change but we might feel its change. When thousand of like collect, the sun will bright but always hidden in the dark... In our heart.... The light is us. The light is the future us. We are in the future for the past but we are the past in future so this explain time is always on the go. I hope everyone could spend the best time with no regret and never turn it to trash..... We still dont know the future of us yet so keep it the light in our heart. The future will always on the go. We never will be able to see yet but it will be the best......

November 29, 2008

A Small Light I Found But I Cant Reach For It...

I walk around this street, I found something... Its a place! Where I never been before... Its block by a tall big wall made up by stone. Its strange, hard and strong... There is a small hole on it... There, I can see a small light coming from the other side. I try to look in to the hole but I cant, Its pain to see that light! Its bright. I try the second time and its work, I can see inside. Weird, I never see this place before, it is like, the other side... Its so much different from my side here now. but why?? That light is bright when I look from here but when I look in the whole, that light is invisible. Every dream I had before are almost the same, I can see this wall blocking me to go out but this time, I can move a little and its not so dark. I can even see light but why is always this same wall even I in the other side? Dear god I ask...... Is this the light I been looking for? A few side I ever been, there... I meet other kind of light. Sometime, its darker and sometime its getting brighter. When, I try to reach that light, its gone.... That light is just for a while but I just dont get it yet. This light, when I go for it... Its gone. When I meet that light, I feel very happy like I meet my future. Till today, I never forget that light... I guess the light is my future but there is a trouble for me to reach my light. the wall is always stuck there.....

I was wondering. What is it suppose to mean for the place I see in the hole? I spend my time thinking for it and I realize. Its might be a place where I will be and there too... I will meet my light, Still, I wont be able to catch that light, but it bright and I can see my smile on it. but... I have no idea what should I do to break this wall. This wall always show my weakness, no matter what it take... Even, I scream out loud, smash it with my body or crying for it to gone... This light never gone and the wall wont gone. Its saying that there is a thing for me to take not by my own and it maybe something which I had problem for it. that place I saw in the hole is very wonderful. Its big and amazing place. I was wondering... Is this place might be the place where will be my future and there I will create thousand smile? Well, I decide I will continue on my study to this place. I know where it was but is this wall trying to tell me that he is cash? but if its true.... I agree... Im not rich enough for being there. Well, it seems like I need to wait for God miracles. Its totally sad and unfair. When I found a light... its still.... small, far and also sometime its perfect light but I wont be able to reach it... Its like saying it far to go and when I work for it... I reach it but other interuption happen. Still... I keep on running and running for this small like... When we work for it. Miracle might happen and I believe god will send us better luck. Even it small... But I believe no matter what... This light is a sign from god on our future. Thanks for reading...

August 29, 2008

The Small Light

Everybody afraid of pain....... There is something hurt deeply inside. We are afraid of sadness, loneliness and the worse thing is...... we could not do as we want. I wish I could bend this pain. too bad there are many type of pain. My pain doesnt gone. Its still stuck on me. When I try blow this pain away. Finally, its another word Fate... Fate, why is it hard for me to understand you? Then I realize.... Its doesnt listen to us. Why is this damage here? He wont answer my question........ Cause. We need to accept how it was. Even how hard it is. Still. Its doesnt care and doesnt understand. i been trying to find a cure so I could turn back time. When I think of the past who I am. I stop thinking about it cause I want to accpet how I am right now. I love judo and Yakuza martial. The past me, I learn it and keep pratice it. Now I realize. The pain is not on my leg. Its my deep side. because I cant be that anymore. I cant believe I lose a dream. In my dream. I lose everything. still... There is one thing yet. I meet a guy in a dream. I dont know who it is, where he from but... He told me I still have the 'me' right now. Written the name Brave Love. I didnt realize I have a brave love. Till today.... I understand what he mean. The old 'me', I never being like this before. I never act like a teenagers or adult. I just childish. Now, i get it. Its the word called 'Lifetime Exam'. A test by God. That is hard for everyone to understand it. but.... We will do understand it. its hard for me to go to school. I hate stairs and ladder. My class is on second floor. i nedd to climb 4 stage to go class. To go down. I need to pass it again. but I realize even how hate I was with the damn stairs, its called step by step. I study that how important is it to be a successfull person. For knowledge, i climb the stairs. To get the small light, wich I could the smile that everyday I saw, the hand of classmate and the sound of the stairs.... To reach the light. and......... To live on! (zutto ikitte ne!) Live on till someday. Miracle be there and till it recover. Even it take more than a years. Then, I will work for the light more than a years.....

August 18, 2008

This is what happen to me...

I had a jumper knee cracking... Its getting worse day by day... I hope everybody know if they got the same problem or not.... This damage have a sign at the skin... The skin look thin and the knee is big but not in a normal shape... If you have... better meet a doctor... I ever meet doctor... This is a serious case... I ever fall down once I go up stair and it just bone lose... So I ask a person who know to put it back... then, I take it easy and I play basketball, football, dancing and parkour around... After a years, I notice that my knee is not in a normal shape... I can feel its pain and moving not smooth... I can hear a sound like a rusty gear sound... Then i have an ex-tray... On my right leg still have the bone shape... We can see on the line... My left leg had no line but peace of small bone... Then on the front got grow weird and shape bone... Doctor told me I cant be on sport or dancing anymore... I was very sad that day... I finally cry a litre of tears... But in the Aya Kitou diary(one litre of tears) I learn to accept them... maybe its hard but its a thing call faith... Doctor said I still can be on swimming only... but I didn't take swimming lesson cause I don't want to. Doctor said I need to wear this for a month... Its called , Pattella brace. This could give less damage.

As you all can see on the image above... Its Nike, very good... After a month then I wear a steel one...














Its about 16205 yen...
Well, I wearing it now and I cant play or dancing anymore for about a years if fast or more... In other words... This damage is no cure avaible...