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November 29, 2008

A Small Light I Found But I Cant Reach For It...

I walk around this street, I found something... Its a place! Where I never been before... Its block by a tall big wall made up by stone. Its strange, hard and strong... There is a small hole on it... There, I can see a small light coming from the other side. I try to look in to the hole but I cant, Its pain to see that light! Its bright. I try the second time and its work, I can see inside. Weird, I never see this place before, it is like, the other side... Its so much different from my side here now. but why?? That light is bright when I look from here but when I look in the whole, that light is invisible. Every dream I had before are almost the same, I can see this wall blocking me to go out but this time, I can move a little and its not so dark. I can even see light but why is always this same wall even I in the other side? Dear god I ask...... Is this the light I been looking for? A few side I ever been, there... I meet other kind of light. Sometime, its darker and sometime its getting brighter. When, I try to reach that light, its gone.... That light is just for a while but I just dont get it yet. This light, when I go for it... Its gone. When I meet that light, I feel very happy like I meet my future. Till today, I never forget that light... I guess the light is my future but there is a trouble for me to reach my light. the wall is always stuck there.....

I was wondering. What is it suppose to mean for the place I see in the hole? I spend my time thinking for it and I realize. Its might be a place where I will be and there too... I will meet my light, Still, I wont be able to catch that light, but it bright and I can see my smile on it. but... I have no idea what should I do to break this wall. This wall always show my weakness, no matter what it take... Even, I scream out loud, smash it with my body or crying for it to gone... This light never gone and the wall wont gone. Its saying that there is a thing for me to take not by my own and it maybe something which I had problem for it. that place I saw in the hole is very wonderful. Its big and amazing place. I was wondering... Is this place might be the place where will be my future and there I will create thousand smile? Well, I decide I will continue on my study to this place. I know where it was but is this wall trying to tell me that he is cash? but if its true.... I agree... Im not rich enough for being there. Well, it seems like I need to wait for God miracles. Its totally sad and unfair. When I found a light... its still.... small, far and also sometime its perfect light but I wont be able to reach it... Its like saying it far to go and when I work for it... I reach it but other interuption happen. Still... I keep on running and running for this small like... When we work for it. Miracle might happen and I believe god will send us better luck. Even it small... But I believe no matter what... This light is a sign from god on our future. Thanks for reading...