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June 22, 2009

We Don't Need To Listen If They Don't Listen

To me I prefer to be heartless. I'm just too weak to accept stuff. Ow God. I do have a question. If there is a human can stand after dead. Is he a man? Is he a person?

Now I can hold this word. I hate my parent sometime. Its not easy to understand a heart of a son I guess. Or maybe they don't even want to understand. I'll hold on this word. I won't try on something I have to which I don't like if I can't even do well in something I like and I been dream. Its not that I don't try. I just that I need the weapon to fight. So easy. I don't even wanna do well in exam or my life if I can't even do well in my dream now. Because both stuff are the same. If one of them I can't even do well its better I don't fall down on both. Better just die or be a heartless.

Maybe what you been saying is right to you. But all I can say is that's not what correct in this soul. I can't just hoping for people or other if I do have honor. I can't just relax in a job or think free. Like mum asks to study. I can't even think if my mind is full. Only you can empty up this mind. I try my best to safe you from spending help so much so I try the cheapest and easiest. I guess they don't appreciate maybe. Fine. Its better I being useless in my whole life. Die fast is better than living without food. Heartless is better than every support you gave.

Will mum be impress if I could stand after dead? Or does she even know that? Does she knows my dream and talent? Or maybe she wanna destroy it? Is spending support is like buying an action figure for nothing? I prefer talking to wall than listening to your senseless talk. You don't even help or even know a good reason. Of course I can't borrow because someday what should I use for it? Borrow again? Ain't that embarrassing?

Tomorrow is the day. Now I can spend 12 hours thinking what should I do? There are many of warrior with sword. Except me. I better die faster by my own hand better than die on dirty hand. If I don't even have sword how can I learn technique to use sword? Wood? How I wanna cut stuff then? If it really do then prove it. Life is suck!! I hope tomorrow never come. I'm afraid to face world... Its scary and I'll be the one who left earth.

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