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December 27, 2010

Missing Words

You have everything you want in this life,
There are so many ways you could get it,
But some certain kids, you gotta understand.

Money,
Not everything you could get with that shit. Nothing you could buy than things. A temporarily happiness you'll get. Each you'll only feel like things are getting lonelier. Where the hell is all the noise? Where the fuck is the rage of anarchy? What is our color now? Where on earth is the sincerity? Where is does anger I saw inside their eyes not those big fat smile and idiot laugh?

True Love?
Gone from my eyes where I can't see those much. Everywhere I look around, so many lies were told. In a bad mind what the hell much could they think? Can't they understand the heart of a girl? People are too cool they think. Emotion is gay to them. Its funny, that's the same as heartless.

Life?
Religion? You got your rules and faith. So many things inside. I stare up at the sky and laugh real hard until we had tears in our eyes. I look into their eyes and position, I smiled. Then I walk outside the door I start looking back, these all with me are different... I never look into religion... White coat, leather shoes, black jacket, anarchy and that is just like me... I don't pray all the time but sometime I did, I try to learn... I more I do, the more I just wanna step away and be myself.. Its wrong but maybe I'll understand one day.... Or maybe I don't? That's depend.

Being more like me is trash to people, I ever did tried to be something they wanted me to, it felt like machine. Really fuck up. I can't be that person, not trained person. I'm a punk

Internet?
Where people could start a relationship there but I can say this, it'll never get any much beautiful than it comes without u expect it was. Somehow the Internet ruined relationship, not just that. Even young people minds.

By the letter spelled miss, there is a missing letter there, just like my side, its 'u',
I miss you

November 12, 2010

A Tissue Box

I just went back from a dinner today. Pretty fun. Not so bad after all but its sucks at a certain point. Relationship always covered under this shadow of rules. Why must all this really this stupid? Distance and everything. I go against you. You can say anything or fuck the words on me. I just wanna make the night special. Sadly, I can't. I was about to make the night a flame of romantic lights. Their view are blindly unexplainable. All those fucking words, I'm tired of it and let everybody put every single shit on me. Say it out loud, I'll never respect anyway. 

You're the place I land my complain,
Its where I shall be fallen as a humble warrior,
I put down my rank and status,
I'm down on my knee and I close my eyes,
I'm sinful, blind and lost.

Normally you give people all,
More than enough,
Just that people gone greedy,
I admit myself,
I am one.

I look down on the ground,
Drop by drops,
My tears fall on the ground,
I smile a bit,
And at the same time I take a look at myself,
That just pathetic.

Everything in this whole life,
It seems a lie,
I don't know what's going on,
War is over and people are trying to start them,
People are states different rank,
But discriminated according to money.

Tell me what is going on?

If I could just close my eyes,
Until I find the answer,
I'll do exactly that,
Until when I open my eyes,
I'm gonna face another thing............

What if one day when I grow up,
I have a left what I can't?
I'm not giving up on believing,
I just wanna see the truth in this hope,
Is it real?
Am I gonna choked up in the end?
What if one day I wake up,
The future from my past in my mind,
Its all a lie?

What if one day when time comes,
I wake up and see one thing out of nothing?
What if that's the only I wanna see again,
And I don't wanna live without it?
Will the world give everyone a decision to make?

Sometime,
I just felt like this world is a shit,
I'm just a fucking abandon lost inside,
I found a hope,
But this hope,
Its ain't clear enough.
I felt it in my heart its real,
This is gonna be beautiful,
But the bottom like,
I was might be dreaming.

Its cold and lonely,
I wasn't listened,
Playing a lonely dice,
Its unexplainable...
I don't get where it heads.

"One day when I look toward the sky, I will realize. I could smile the last I cant"

November 07, 2010

"The Gun is Load, You Gonna pull The Trigger?

Look down on everyone,
A fragile soul taking the answer.
The rain falls before December ends,
Autumn falls in a rainy summer.

When you hold a loaded gun,
Are you gonna pull the trigger?
Have you ever thought about,
Emotion reach our weakness.

We all just fragile,
This heart only protected by rib cage,
It just that simple,
Easily breakable,
Touchable,
Vulnerable...

Why are people walking?
In that lonely room footstep is heard,
People making their pace destroying others,
Making others cry and beg for them,
Enough is enough,
Talk about shit,
I'll just end up like a 7 year-old kid,
Holding a loaded gun.

A love letter,
With a bleeding roses,
Its not for the better,
But people just don't wanna lost,
On stupid things.
But, I'll fight for treasure,
and to defend the one I love the most.

In the bitter end,
People make decision,
Emotion,
Give it an answer.

"Ever wanna try finding the answer? Revenge hold the shadow"


Liz'
"In this existences, where could I be seen?"

October 26, 2010

Fallen Summer On October

Thousands of people I heard,
Over years that past,
In my head that have a thought,
Over the world that surrounded me,
This heart on a silent summer.

Its October of the year,
On October road,
This anvil rusted,
On the scar that shows we care a lot,
Sees the sky we dream,
Planted to us.

One two three I scream out loud and loud,
Let the world heard it,
I am Liz,
The past is a....
Was just past,
The old me has die inside this heart,
Not the person,
Not the feeling,
Because sees into the heart,
I love the same person I always do.

A cup of coke,
That I just bought,
So wasted it drops,
Meaningless lost.

"Gimme magic, set me free, tell logic, let it be"

On a rainy Tuesday,
My test was a shit today,
I take out my camera and a photograph,
God, this ain't gonna be the same,
Maybe I used to hold on to it,
Its a new start,
Let it free...
Set me free,
Let us go

A shot to head with a tactical 50,
It wasn't born enough to get 15,
Before I placed it in a book,
Now, I take it where I took,
Later,
I'll never stand on that hook

"I wish I was shot, I wish I was found. It just a thought, that I never bound"

If only I could put down my camera, guitar and writing. Giving up anarchy... That just if, which is impossibly happen because I am rebel that goes into the deepest part where you won't find an answer if you just didn't look at me properly..... But whatever, I'm happy that way. Reasons? Figure it out, I ain't giving a fuck. It just that simple.

"Open your eyes,
See it deep,
Don't say good bye,
I won't leave"

Liz~ 

October 24, 2010

Way Back To Yesterday

Its plain and simple,
Its purely beautiful,
The blue sky with white clouds,
The green green grass and town.

The waves and the ocean,
Deep in the sea the water gets clean,
A butterfly to capture in the eyes,
An evening of silence from crowd.

Yesterday it all happened,
Tomorrow will be a change,
Past Valentine I was remembered,
Today I was known.

Being ordinary doesn't mean nothing,
Being special but how long would it be?
Being original just being the truth,
Being different means another word of special.

The song I used to listen,
It ain't the same for now,
The person I used to be,
Is still the old one but its never the same,
Things change.

"Thyself shall hold on the power, taking it for goods to defend those smiles."

A painted room permanently,
The color could never be erased but pasted.
If only I could ever walk back before I was 13,
But I could only create not change memories.

Red rose for today wilt by tomorrow,
Yesterday was purple but it ain't make much difference.
What happened already happened,
Tomorrow it'll never be the same,
But what begins since love blossoms,
Tomorrow it never change.

Monday begins with aim(M) or(O) ain't(N),
Sunday starts before as(S) you(U) and(N),
But its all never happened without the(D) air(A) why(Y)?
Day after days,
Time after times,
All that past,
Its alright,
Because real life & love,
It just begins.

The note above I stated it like how before I used to write. Its how I used to post things on the old theme for 'Whisper In Silence'. Today I wanna start it again like how it used to be. I hope you'll like it. I just wanna inspire people....  

Love,
Liz
"What we have is what's left today"

October 19, 2010

Goodbye, But I Will Never Leave You

Goodbye I said,
Just distance in between us not the love, or us.. I'm just right here for you even our distance is far but I will never leave you. I'll be just right there for you all the time. I wish I could be with you now but we're just have this drain in between us. School, places, time and every shit but I will never leave.. I'm always right here as a writer of this blog and as the love one in your heart. Its pure... I miss you. I can't wait to see you again...


Slowly I breath in and ever single inhalation, you are my oxygen. Just by the side of your heart, I'm always there until death would take me away but it won't be so soon because I know... I'm not God to know but I'm sure I will always stay until my dream comes through...


When I close my eyes, I see you even in the hardest time, I'm still thinking of you. Even how much air I need to breath, it'll always enough with you... When I'm not around, nothing feels right, every second when I'm with you is counted and by the hours past, I miss you. Ever single piece of you, I miss you... I promise you I will be back and never leave, I'll keep that inside my heart.


Today,
Its quiet, in the hospital, I''m scared.... Just close my eyes waiting for my turn, waiting the result... I'm thinking of every second with you... Your love is like wings to me, that set me free from pain and worries. If I could be with you now, I wanna kiss you and hug you like we used to... As long as I can, tight and I don't wanna let go....


Whatever it takes, I'll never break the promise... All we have is what's left today but no matter, you'll have me as the only Liz that you'll know.


I love you,
I miss you,
Jennifer~

October 18, 2010

School's & Prison

Lately, I see people... They teach me a lesson, that literally, they ain't no stupid but really damn blind...

Let's state it clear, especially honestly, my teachers... Some they could really understand, some they think they do but hell, not even a bit.... Probably they are reading this or maybe not... But if they do, they wouldn't read to the bottom of the post because this post seems pathetic or stupid or just another teenage punk who is obsess with his rebellious notes, true cause I am but you're wrong at one point...

I tell you what... Look at me properly next time...

Anarchy is one part of the key of my heart to get against you. Its not that I hate you but when I sit there thinking of future, you got me into a state and call my dream is silly like trash or shitty but when I put myself into some part of you rebellious student, I know where I wanna go and what is stupid. Probably I am bad, really bad... So what? Do I ever give a fuck? Not at all because that's what you think about me... Teacher taught me 'do not judge the book by its cover'... Can I believe that teacher? You didn't prove it cause me, you didn't view me properly. Look at me, what do you see? Maybe I'm not better, maybe I got no money, maybe I'm stupid but maybe you all wrong.

I play music, those music that you hate so much. I'm like an animal to you but I'm not faking myself, here is a truth. I'm just being the wind in your fucking rich palace. I can't walk free, yeah.... I had a silly knee that is pushing me so fucking bad... If you in me you won't have a day without pain... I wish all those thing I did I could feel free but hell, school is just prison where it decides to teach you what to think not learning how to think... No wonder why people hates school, money is their first priority, decide what's other future will be, that is so...

You know.... To be clear, I'm not a prisoner or a puppy even a dog. I'm deaf, blind or say it whatever, when you did so I proved to you, you're wrong, bet you don't realize because my mind and your, isn't the same. Yours is a book set-up definition in a black shadow where you wish everyone just like you and mine is what's truth through my lens.

Maybe I ruin the class or hate study so fucking much but you never realize, I do study maybe ain't good enough but I can tell you, you're wrong... 

Is it so hard to understand this? I bet it is, that goes heartless.... Its simple ok, look at me properly now.... 

October 06, 2010

Obsess

Time making me felt like...
Damn it,
Could our time be a little more fucking longer?
Will this time stop at every second when I want to?

Could it move a little bit slower?
Please?
Waiting felt like forever but spending,
Its like happened just now,
So soon...
Real soon....

Fuck it,
I look down on the ground,
What a rainy day...
What a morning kiss,
What an empty time,
What the....

What the pace move on for?

I'm feeling vulnerable as time gets far away like our distance will be...
Will God protects you when I'm not there for you?
Its not that I don't want to but I just can't...
When I'm there my heart beats fast and crazy,
Just wonder how are you doing there?
Is everything okay?
Do you miss me?

Whatever it'll be....
Damn it..................
I'm not there enough, this fucking distance trying to separate us.
I always wanna reach you and kiss you,
Whenever you think of me,
I wish I could be your side...
Singing you love song,
Touch you as much as I adore you,
I cuddle you with sweet romance...

When the morning comes,
I dream when I wake up,
You just in my arms,
Warm and tight...
By the time you wake up,
I will kiss you and smile at you.
But then again when I look from my eyes now,
Tears are falling......
To my face I whisper....

I love you...

September 26, 2010

Life Planning

I am young and very stupid,
That's what people told me,
Some certain time I agree,
But I never give a fuck.

Life is always my way,
Not one can tell me where to choose,
But I can hear recommendation,
But I hate being force,
And I just wanna be where I suppose to be.

Love,
I put it in my heart,
One day there is gonna be a huge distance,
I'm afraid of that and I am scared,
Of losing the one heart that I only had,
Some people said,
'Flower can be plug in a garden,
You can pick one and have a lots more'

But as the matter of fact,
That isn't romance of love.
To me that was stupid,
Here I put it in a line,
There is only a butterfly to catch,
There are flowers...

I tell you what,
Not every flowers just the same,
And I found a butterfly instead of flowers,
A perfect one,
And I'm not wanting a relationship,
I want a true love...

I don't care how many flowers can be plug but hey,
I wanna plant one,
Grow it,
Water it,
Take good care of it,
A FLOWER...

All I want is,
To keep distance together with her,
Never felt separated...

September 23, 2010

Pure Moon, A Bitter Sweet Beauty

Maybe,
Its a lifetime respect,
Maybe,
Its all about the shit I've made before,
Maybe,
Time wasn't long enough,
Or maybe,
This heart of this man just dead.

Reality,
Love is just beautiful,
But life set up a rules of distance,
Position,
and...
Destination... 

But when it gets into the ride of fantasy,
Everything just fucking lies,
Beauty of a broken violin,
What we say isn't what we'll get,
What we wish isn't what we'll see,
What we dream isn't reality,
But it could be change...

Only...

If I can change it so the story could be continue...

Reality suck,
Life,
I'm your biggest anarchy...

You set up rules,
That is so cruel...
Test is just harsh and fuck it,
The silliest thing this life is living a lie,
I scream it our loud...

I AM ANARCHIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'M THE ONE WHO FUCK THIS WORLD!
I'M THE ONE WHO KILL MYSELF!
I'M THE ONE WHO IS PATHETIC!!!
I'M THE ONE WHO ACTING LIKE FUCK IT DAMN MOTHERFUCKER,
I'm just the one...
who cried like the most pathetic person and guess what?! 

NO ONE WOULD CARE!!! 
Well LIFE IS UNFAIR and shit,

God I ask you! 
You washed my brain and set the rules of life but why when the perfect thing in this life for me,
You give it to me! But?!
You have to make it that way? Taking it away from me?
What's the point of living?
What's the definition of perfect love and true love?

Rather than thinking of what way I should take,
What journey I should make,
Which shit I should live and see,
Or a test paper to be brave,
I set it here clean and fucking stupid,
I rather end everything so tomorrow,
I won't have a day and everyday can have their life,
Not listen to a pathetic speaking meaningless English!!

Today is a special day,
Today is the most meaningful day ,
Today supposed to be a beautiful day...

But this stupid life in this stupid world,
Over this idiotic journey,
I break my legs to walk,
I break my arms to work,
But I did all that,
To love....

But why must there a rule saying couple can't marry each other of unless oneself have to give it up... and...
Why must there a rule saying I am forbidden from giving it up?
I would end up senseless and not getting anything anyway...
What can I choose?
I got no option...

I'M POWERLESS!!!
I'M SHIT, WEAK!!! PATHETIC....
But......
That's cause the world don't treat me right,
I fuck the world!
I RULE, ANARCHY!!!

However, I'm vulnerable to do so,
Why? 

Because God,
You don't gimme any choice or option,
You don't even gimme a pair of wings to fly,
To don't even make me blind, deaf or dumb...
Why must it happened that way?

WHY?

WHHHYYYY???????????????

WWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm willing to give up my dreams or anything,
If You would give me a key,
To be hers...

And people will ask me why I must choose this way...

The answer, because I love her,
and because,
I'm your biggest anarchist.

September 20, 2010

I'm Rebel & Anarchy but I'm Not A Shit

Teachers.
They told me the same thing. I am not stupid, I just not doing well yet. But hey, I made a chance... Sadly, not much could realize that... I wish I could change their way of some people view me but the more I try to the more I was giving a senseless hope. Its okay cause I don't care... Put down my camera giving up anarchy, just a fake happiness for them but not to me. I study... I study and study again... I did but they just don't see me that way. I don't wanna care but I just want some support. How I wish my hero could felt proud for what I've been... Seems like it just another wasted of tries but its okay, I feel sorry I can never be good enough for you... But you can't change me because I'm trying to be a gold for you to be proud but I just can't in the way you wanted me to... 

Remembering my hero before...
We spent our times and fun together.. Giving me spiritual words and strong guides so I could be one worth gift from God for you. Before you were a hero but then when times and busyness separates us... I'm less being care and before I was important, maybe not the most but slowly... You watch me and look at me as the worst person you've seen.... 

Please,
Look at me and talk to me, I never stop trying but I just want you to know, this rebellion born naturally. Maybe its not from how I being influenced by music as you said but Ill never listen to those musics if you don't ask me too but its just late...

Sorry, but I stated here,
I miss that hero,
and with love,
Liz~

September 19, 2010

Love Note~

This heart is yours,
This love is ours,
This life we share,
This sweetness we care,
Romance I lay for you,
Just you & I in our fantasy...

This box, I wrap it over,
I keep a red apple in it,
Send it to your door,
Land it on the floor.

When you open it,
You'll smile,
Seeing a piece of note,
Invisible but appears on the gift,
Stated,
"I love you, sweetheart"

Liz~

September 15, 2010

Just Like Everybody Else~

On a stupid walk over the time,
On a single bit of laugh I smile a bit,
On a single letter, an opening,
From the voices of our life,
It sounds a little less silly to say.

A dissatisfaction,
Pathetic the way it seems,
On an uncovered album of journey,
Over photographs that took,
One pace doesn't seem to be made,
An opening, a sacrificing time,
Open the clock and find its battery...

Over cell of time been talking,
From an edge to the grave,
Dead at the line over a year,
One face and again at one play,
A shit to begin from the ultimate lame.

People like me,
We're just no one to them~ 

September 10, 2010

A Gift Box

One small little box. It goes cute and romantic. You never know if its a ring in it... Is he gonna purpose you? What if it comes with a flower? We'll never know what's in the box until we open it.

One big box. Big... Very big... What if its something big, real big but... Size of those things in the box, I don't care. We don't know what comes in when it goes out. We don't know what's behind the wall if we keep guessing instead of checking. Just like us, they judge by the way we look... Where we come from, who are we, money, status... It just doesn't make sense...

You don't know in that little box is a diamond... You don't know if that big box is just a bag. Or maybe anything... But boxes represent something in our life. Sometime even a simple bag needs appreciation. Cause its a gift, its free. Take it and appreciate it. Don't matter that thing in the box, is cheap or whatever. Cause in this life, not everyone have a luxury beauty. The heart, is a different thing.

Let just say a small box...

What if its a ring? Priceless ring?

At that position you'll smile and guess what... It just a box. It just the cover... Like us. We're inside our box. What color is your box? How big or small is it, it don't matter much... Let it be a luxury inside that box...

Smile,
Liz~

September 04, 2010

'A', an Opening.What It Stands When It Comes To The End?

Begins with the letter a,
'An opening~'

Its been almost a week, just make it 5 days straight. Its been almost a year, well it goes the 9Th months we're standing on... 9 months...

Not even a bit, I walk backward. To be real, I never did. For this fantastic when I was given a pace to be made. Maybe just that way in front of us but we just abandon it. However, a girl that's been amazed my life made me walk that way. At the edge of that pace I found that light... That happy light.. It makes me smile, laugh and gone crazy a little. Sometime when I gone deeper, I have tears in my eyes. An unframed happiness. It just flows that way to the bottom of your heart. At that time when you're in my place, you'll be like...

"Owh God you made it!"

When it comes that way... We gone so far and we flowing with the winds. Not even a bit from any single talk could stop you down but careful, sometime... We just move the wrong path and screw things up. I watch my every single step and take my breath slow and patiently I wait. By the bottom line when I traveled far I found this crystal... Its very beautiful. Sparkling sparkling. Unexplainable moments.

That girl who walks with me, she holds my hand and together we run... Run to that path where happiness to be achieved. By that time when I look at her, I just smile and sometime I laugh a little bit... But my eyes are just wet... Its sparkling like a crystal. A beautiful light is seen. Isn't its obvious? That light represents a hope...

Smile~

*From the above notes I wrote... Can you define what 'a' stands for if it goes an opening, what's in the end?
-The answer, 'Appreciations

Liz~

September 02, 2010

Walk Back , Step Front ~

I open my closet today and take on my pace,
A journey of the mighty one... 

"Thou shall be two side,
Our own or home"

After I done my hair today I realize... There is something about that guy in the mirror... Well the harder it seems the deeper it was. I try to open up my heart and I try to talk. When those voices and advices stomp me down on my knee. I stand and never bow to dark side. I'll just be the ultimate shadow but never walk away just... I'll be in that box...

Color?
Just feelings. A garden of happiness. When I try to take an object and try to break the glass, my hand stop... Liz, wake up? Where have you been... Where have I'm lost?

A direction?
On a home where I use to be. On the old story I use to cry with. On the pace I traveled along... Seeing myself again...

There is a huge difference... And I guess I made it there. I be able to see it now, that small beautiful light at dawn. That lovely smile that makes me close my eyes and kiss her eyes... Goodnight goodnight, never say goodbye.

What's left off really gone now,
Slowly I walk away from a small single life to a better style... I be able to smile with the stars and felt the happiness inside. With her in my arms... Is like a dream come true. When I wake up I open my eyes, all I could think first was her... It starts and some sweetness begins. I put my anger backward and keep myself weak and soft... Let it be... Whatever happened, I don't wanna hold to it.

Harsh,
The cover of me that I've been. With the madness of the look and an evil smile. I walk back before August. No, it never been that way. I'm not that anymore. I'll just be whoever I'm actually am. I lost my inspiration, I guess that's how it makes me... 

Breath for now,
A box, It goes Black & White~ 

Liz~ I'll be~ 

August 25, 2010

Take My Hand & Run

'People will start thinking of responsibility for their action
And things played on starting from one step of a time starting from this second,
We all have been DEGRADED,
But,
We all will be the GREATEST.'
By The Maine

Let's scream it out,
LOUDER!

I put my arms to the air giving a salutation,
Starting from last night,
I made a start line with my love,
I put my last bow here,
Not leaving what I am but,
Forward for a different way,
Without changing me,
Just change this life,
Make it us~

That is what I really wanted. Wanting someone would take my hand and run with me, creating a life on our own journey without even give a damn on what others might think. I'm tired of listening to those voices that keeps making me look bad. Here I run forward to achieve a goal. My goal... No, our goal. It starts here. Catching that beautiful lights together with her pretty face, I could see the most beautiful flare through her smile. A reflection that speaks to me.

Tonight, I light this candle up.

You and I, never say goodbye. It just begins, for us to find where we are accept and to find our own home.

Here smile keeps playing in my mind. It makes me feel weak and unforgettable scene. Her smile, touch and kiss. I could that sparkling eyes crying a happiness inside like the way I do. A flame is burning my heart that keeps me warm. By the moment, this love burns for her.

A Rose, red as blood, a passion of love, romance...

The only things matter in my life,
Is you and I.

Take my hand, let's run... Go there, searching for space and home. Ignoring whatever the others will say, we move on on our own time.

August 24, 2010

A Little Respect or Just Fuck Off

I look myself in the mirror
Sometime I felt proud
Gets to live in this fucking world
Facing stupid laugh and lies
Straight to my face

Living in a pace
Where millions of people in my life
Either its me that look stupid
Or just them who acting stupid
But my stupidity
I have heart too
And once they my heart
I'll ram them into hell

A house
Where I don't belong to
A pace
Where I been push from walking
A shit
Where people just understand me
Me me me...

Making myself look selfish here
But I'm not talking about myself,
Its my style and I'm saying others

I don't care
Cause I don't wanna care
What I'll have to pity on
What I'll have to cry on
What I'll have to face on
I just fucking stand at the bottom

There wishing for one thing
I'll just have some food when I'm hungry
And sitting on the sofa
Playing video games
Not keeping my mind in those shits
Where I don't literally belongs to

I'm just asking respect
Not to myself but to my life
I?
Even slowly forget everything about myself
Maybe when I'm exactly what they talked
They will leave me alone and freak out
I'll destroy all those smile
I'm trying to defend to
Since its helpless
I'll let it bleed into myself

Every time I wake up
I'm hoping I was captured in my own dream
Saving everyones' smile
But as the matter when I try do that
I was the one who destroy them

Then what's the use of doing a senseless thing?
Why would I hoping for something that will never happen?
Why would I have to respect when I was disrespected?
And why?

Should I continue hoping for a shit,
That never will work on me...

I wish I'll just flow gone and stop letting people see my fucking face,
Maybe it'll be a dream come through for them...

August 23, 2010

5Th Month Anniversary

Its been 5 months we're together and the greatest part is... I love every second with her...

She makes me felt appreciated, cared and lucky...
And by the same time she makes me crazy and turn my heart to be weaker and soft to treat her the sweetest I can...

The loveliest thing about her is that she's very special. A very adorable caring person to me. For the first time, I can call this home. 

Dear, it might seems to be a short post but I have a lot more to say and let it be personal...

Hug & Kiss, I love you~ 

Will This House Be A Home Again?

I wake up and stop letting things take away my spirit... Here I put a riot from my heart. Where I use to stop crying like that little boy but keep screaming and play hard music knowing its like my blood. To be the way I wanna be... Ain't desperate enough to be someone I don't wanna be...

Competitive?
I put those word and fuck up a little in the middle position but hey, don't ever compare me to someone...

Does this house seems like a home again?
Where you felt you don't belong to somewhere...

I just wanting to start up and mess up a little bit with an evil smile but a pure heart knowing people would judge me bad, a stupid face I won't give a fuck cause hey... I like to be this, to be wild and crazy... Breaking guitar, breaking glass or break the chain. Here one pace I could describe in one single home, to be hurt.

Push me out let the door open. Showing me a landing wings that to let me free but freedom doesn't lead to stupidity.Teachers always said, one cause teen gets stupid is because of freedom. Too much freedom lead to crime but I won't give a damn on that statement... Freedom doesn't goes that way. It just how locked they are and not always free but feeling free like for the first time after prison I might screw things up. Crime? I don't do that. Why? Because I have my style... My position ain't rank up like master in all those places I don't fucking care...

I did my paper today and the question is why student fail on test? The greatest answer I wrote is, force.. 

Yeah force... My place don't step in if you want me to step out. Its easy play? Owh yeah...

Home? 

AS THE MATTER OF FACT,
Here is my home... 

August 22, 2010

To The Ultimate, I'm A Shadow

They say a traveler should have seen the truth on the lens of a camera.
They say a journey could be made with a single ride on our pride.
They say money you'll get everything you want but fuck it!
Can I put my journey on a pace to help the helpless...

But...

Seems like I ain't helping a single line if I can't even help myself. Knowing a harsh time and terrible lives, I'll willing to be the ultimate shadow of strength just to defend them. Defend those who are helpless. Doesn't matter relatives, friends or even strangers but hey... This heart, this pure soul and this single light... I wanna brighten them. Put aside my own things and discover a single... A single...

Just a single piece of love that could begins from a seed to lighten the whole garden... Maybe that would be great...

But?

What's so good about knowing the truth? It makes me felt powerless... All I could do is watch. I wish I really could take their place and step off from the bottom line but this shit ain't working out... If I could only defend the whole town smiles in the world, I would have done that... If only the shadow would stand on me, I'll take the pace and walk along with it... Knowing myself is less important, it don't matter much but I just can't stop thinking about a miracle rain...

Fuck it...

Over the pace it takes, I found these damn fools fooling around like bunch of losers. Money always turns into a role play. You roll the dice, you'll make it twice.

I blow a small wind wishing I could make it cold but yet it seems useless... I just... Maybe I don't understand or maybe... I guess no.. I just wanting a beautiful light to be seen all years long in my entire life but things.. It goes black and white, I tie my tie and wear a suit... Not even a lie for to stop walking the fault line but...

What it gets? What can I take? Or does people even understand the word suffer isn't as simple as it seems?

It just... Harder than it seems but why... Why you people couldn't stop acting selfish?

Just a single... Shit to be made~

A Place Where Your Loving Kindness & Care Is Needed



We are all viewed as a person. Forget money or rank. They just some shit that doesn't make any sense to me. Rich people or poor people, young people or old people, talented people or smart people, smart or stupid, good looking or not so... I don't put a damn on it cause open your eyes and open your heart and stop talking about anything. Just take a look at them... What do they have? We all should be thankful because in their eyes we are made 'perfectly'. I put my hand and myself involve in a visit to these special friends. Giving them a 'healing hand' would be nice. Pay a visit and show them they aren't alone because there are still people who care.

So here are my photographic report~