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February 26, 2010

There's A New Reflection

From the song of A1. I felt that its beautiful to walk back on time. Maybe I just try to be the answer because I don't wanna lose a girl of my love. But I finally let her go the way she wanna be She means nothing to me anymore. Or maybe she does but she's a star that is so hard to reach her. She's just there next door of my class. Yesterday I saw her. I just give her a smile and that's it. Life have to go on the way I can. I'm not gonna stop running just because of a broken leg. Or else it just all or nothing. I just wanna move one the way I could and love planted to be silent and mystery in me. No one can ever understand who I love or what I wish for. Its good no one ever know because it just feelings. Senselessly noted on my note. But one thing for sure. Love is my blood and I live with it. She? Just a new reflection of myself. There's nothing than a burning feeling or boost in myself. Its true it just not enough to call her a friend but facing the fact. She's not even a single shit into me. And she's just a kind of girl who is just untouchable. I tried to be the answer but just fact... is fact......

Three words just an empty note framed with rejection. In the end I realize I was loving the wrong person. Maybe its good they don't know who I love kept under my shadow. Because I know that I don't deserve her. For sure she deserves someone placed rank under my bow. But I'm sure things just things. Love just love. An empty note kept behind my heart. In this life, time and again. Looking back I don't see any goods. Because what I build is a total mess. Unclear, mystery and turn out to be dust of feelings. Can be blown but infinite in numbers. My eyes see the pretty face and beautiful feelings in a person. But I felt shadow of their wings.

Just so they know that I have nothing than myself, friends and romance in my blood. I have a red, pink, white, purple and orange roses. All covered and watered with the liquid of love. That makes me being the real person who I am. I was another warrior with a nameless sword and that unknown by any person on Earth. But I was standing in millions of them. So I try to be heard among the rest but only those blade that slays the name of lord could be the credit and titled as the 'true warrior'. But I was just another survival left and stands for my own king but was nothing than a warrior standing in tears.

Princess deserves a good looking prince and ranked. I could just dream in my own fantasy and be the God of my own life but I wasn't a God in my own world. Because there's only one God.... and that's not me. I'm just another unheard person below the shadow of the Earth. Where can I be seen? No way... Just around the street. Which street? Forgotten street.

If only I could stand as a star... The icon of the world. The guy of the man. The one among the rest. I just think that's the greediest thing I ever think of. I just hope to be living below my own hut. Under this silence of nothing. Respected and heard from others. But unseen behind my shadow. Maybe that makes me a legend. Or maybe just makes me feel special. Or just... Liz....

Looking at the field of nature. Makes me feel free and fantastic. No lies lay on my own shoulder. Like the motion of time captured by the blue skies. With beautiful white clouds and nice view of trees. There's no smoke, no pain in the eyes and only the birds are heard. I'll be living under this source of my dream lights. Not enough just the light on my flash. The light of my heart.

My lens took a blow of inspiration. Only if I could be heard and seen on the television, radio or books. I should have no worries in facing the future and what comes tomorrow before the day I'll never be able to live again. I bet there's this reflection of luck comes late last minutes of time that takes the patient of 10 guys like me. I believe that's the biggest miracle that could ever happen to me. I just wanna be that way. Living in peace, smiling everyday, captured on scene and touched on the night of my sleep. So I end this post with another note of my heart. Not just a note but something more than that, a voice of my heart.

'I feel the pain of my shadow,
Just too much to stand in my life,
Look back on my shadow of hope,
I'm sure there's still this moment.

Lifetime deserve a respect of faith,
Sure I'll be standing the day after,
There's no pain to be felt,
Other than the pain of feelings.'

'He might not be the guy of you dream,
But he just wanna be the guy you'll be remember.'
Sincerely,
Liz

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