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February 25, 2010

Abandon or Left? Both make no difference

She tried to be real nice and tried real hard to replace the past so I could live myself like the past. But sometime love or relation can never be replace. Amelia asked me a question yesterday before I got home from Basketball with friend. She asked me 5 reasons why I want her to be my stepsister. So I just wonder. Does anyone need 5 reasons or more? 1 reason wasn't enough? Just wonder. I'll list down those 5 reasons right below of this post. Before I get there. I told her about my previous post but not completely. She told me she tried to take my last missing stepsister's place but she can't. I guess no one can replace but Amelia is still herself. She might not always been there for me like my stepsis did but she's still a perfect person. Maybe not perfect as others who live over lighted cash but she's just that girl who wanna just be there for love. Love is just wonderful and a real pain. The biggest pain in love is to be patient on waiting. Ever since I know her, she's always a fighter. Not a real good fight but not a loser.

My stepsis wasn't just a normal person. She was the greatest friend I ever had before. Amelia might won't be able to replace her but sometime they both behave the same. They have a lot of things in common. Just not the same person but... A lovely person... and always... My great friend. And that won't make any difference between both of them. I miss her and I have her by my side. I just wish I'll be having her as my greatest friend. That's make them my stepsister.

In my own word I say. No way people can replace the other. They are irreplaceable...

Today's journal. I just had a sort of bad day. That's because I played Basketball yesterday after almost a year above I didn't play it. So hard to walk to school and today's lesson. I wasn't that lost. I felt better after some things are told out and being able to listen by others. I'm glad I don't walk as my shadow but I just walk with it. Biology I could understand a little of them. Finally. I be able to listen for what the hell am I study. Chemistry was great after I got those spirit in study. I be able to step in a  great position than before. But I was just a quater of knowledge accepted and memorized. So I still worry for the upcoming test withing this Thurday, 4Th of March and I was totally... cool about it. I don't know why but I'm worry for my results.

After I clear out my closet. It felt way better than before. I admit. Note and Poem there are difference. But only those who knows the secret and listen to its different.

Love life?
I was totally great and fine about it. I guess without telling I love her she'll probably knew it already. Every time I have her over my fingers. Other than a touch of love? What does she expects? Love played a rules of game. But patient played role in importance. It just something you shouldn't afraid to try because love this might teach you a lesson... But not for you to use someone as a lesson. It make sick to think about the past I'm stood over loves that covered with a cold and lonely blanket. But what past... Just left as a photograph.

Is just a state of feelings. 'Left inside a box. Abandon from trust but felt from distance.'

And the 5 reasons I just stated in here... I might not be 5 but its way better than 5.

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