CAREERI finally decide which way I'm going on and what career I'll be going for. MAybe I'm just a lost student... yeah. I don't know what I'll be someday when I grow up. Plus, nobody even guide me to be a... Something? When I ask I only get this answer to be a writer or photographer but now I wonder... Its not easy to be a photographer or even a writer. Plus if luck doesn't stands for me. I might be just a photographer but nothing more special than that. If only luck stands in my way and I turn out I could be a professional photographer or start my own company or something like that... I'm sure my dream comes through but its not that simple. I'm in a Science class now so I'm a Sciences' student. But I can be labell as the craps in class because I don't know anything and not willing to study. I just thinking about living as a photographer or writer and being famous but its not simple too. Money might be a trouble but the result of my exam might guide me for a career. If only I could get the result maybe I don't have to worry about money anymore.
I just went to a career guiding line and took some advice. It all seems to be extremely hard but of course if I study for sure just that simple. I decided to be a pilot for now so I'll be needing a 6 credit up to B4... For 6 subjects and 1... Is fucking horible to me already. So I wanna start a new mind and forget the old Liz. Ever since I know her she makes me followed her step to be a student. Not being famous. I guess its not worth it anymore. Because with this 6 credit I could have a pilot class for free. Only if I could get the 6 credit... Its up to B4 and its not simple. It really takes a lot effort but I wanna try for the sake of my career. I'll be thinking about getting a great job and I wanna live in a perfect life. My dream is to live a life where there is no worry about money.
Photographer? I don't know. I'll try to be a photographer for a second shot after pilot. But I'll fight for it to be a pilot. Maybe I'm not completely interested in pilot but looking at the 737 pilot... He is a captain. I saw his son living in a perfect life and enjoyed a lot having a dad as a pilot. He told me I was in a good place now. This new start might be hard but this is my chance he told me. Might be easy if I'm serious with it. Well I guess I decided it. Yeah. I'll work hard for it. My mum doesn't seems to believe in me for my grade. I know I was totally suck out in subjects but I hope she'll believe me and be more supportive. I just need confidant in working out.
I'm really serious in this. I'm so scared for a sad and boring future living in shadow. Like there is totally no life. My dad really dissapointed in me for my previous grade but I guess thanks to the teacher to place me in Science's class. So I'm a Sciences' student and I'm going to be a true one. Not just labelled as one. I might score real bad for this week but I hope I still get the opportunityto stay in this class I am now and I hope they won't kick me out. I promise I'll score better in my second try and won't let teachers down. Right now I'm really afraid about drop to another class. Like owh fuck... I was suppose to increase or something. Last time I didn't get the chance to be in 3K and I totally regret it. But now. I'll make a difference. Its gonna be hard but I wanna be... Someone. Not in the mirror.
Teachers, I need your support and I hope you will sincerely pray for my dream cause you won't regret anything. I'll remember you always. Without you all... I am nothing and thanks to Miss Yiak for guiding me in love. Maybe true its school but love. Must go on cause it builds me a spirit. See teacher. I showed you already how love makes me a different person because teacher I'm mature. I know what to do and I know where to go. I won't be a reflection of the dark but I'll react to the light. Thank you for your love help althought it just words but it means to me so much and in Biology. I hope you understand if I didn't get a great result. I'm suck in study. You know that. Very slow learner but when I'm willing to study. I can catch up slowly because subjects are all depend on my dicipline. I'm not that type but if I'm a fast learner in other things like photography. I can say I already learned too much for photography from professional and right now I already teach the other cause they saluted me like a fan or professional.
Sometime I'm sad. Well I'm very serious in career things like this althought somehow I found I was really stupid in it but stupid can be change right? Cause I'm not idiot yet... True?
I envy people like Fakhrul, Amelia, Kristian, Whitney, Nizar, Zaki and a lot more. I don't know what to say I'm very sure this are those I'll see to success. So good luck to everyone and don't care about me envy here. Maybe Fakhrul actually did even me but you know. Each people they got their own unique's personalities. But for somehow. We all envy one another.
I wrote a song last night and completed already. It really is good cause I sent them to Fakhrul to listen and Angelina to read the lyric. They really are impressed and I don't what to say. I'll post the song within another week on March's break and yeah. Thank you all for support me in this song. This is a gift for Clarion. I wrote it for her. Love inspired me and I never wrote a good song but when Fakhrul knew it and listened. He's totally speechless and thank it was somebody's song. Owh true... Its mine. I wrote them. love inspired me so much and I myself was shock that I wrote something really impressive. Soon I record it and post them here on my page.
Love,
Liz~
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