April Is So Not Cool

Things?Its been awhile I didn't text her. Totally gone too many hands on works and activities at school. Not even a chance to take a break. I'm exhaust and tired. I didn't sleep for couple of days last Tuesday and Wednesday. Finally I could take a break while checking my phone. Waiting for her to text me while staring at Additional Mathematic's books. Too many things haven't complete. Fuck all. Subjects today? God! Its Saturday. P.S. I miss you dear~

Friends?
If only I could stay a bit longer I might understand but if I stay long. I might already hurts someone from their front. I rather just keep a distance even I might look selfish. I rather be known as any shit but I still think the same way. I'm avoiding all that from happening. Get on the bus lets take a trip. Gone nowhere than here.

Life?
I'm completely clueless and feeling like my soul has gone somewhere else. Where are all those sweet words from my great friends? Are they even miss me in this distance so far? My phone are filled with empty text from them. Where are you all now and how you guys doing lately? I'm sort of lost and you guys are like the heart for me to think. Now I've been loosing myself and walking in love. It gave me a strength but I can't think the same way as you guys anymore. Well yeah, I guess I was replaced by somebody else. Which might be better person than me. But don't worry about me. I still can live here alone with my dearest love. She's always there to light my days. However, I still looking forward to hang out with you all again. Still remember?

Music & Love?
Have you ever hear me play guitar before? I would be boo by now if I play the same way again. Till this year I was amazed by my girlfriend and I started to strum better and plug better until I get to play like this. I called it, the melody inspired by love.

School?
Always some piece of shit where I couldn't miss from stepping. Horrible. Ain't that pathetic? At school I couldn't learn to think but I was controlled from thinking by the school. They help me to think. Wasn't helpful at all. Why must they take my life away? Why I can't live like how I used too? Why do I have to listen to them? Why can't I just be myself? and why do they want me to be what they always wanted? Why why why? Why should I? Why must I? There are like hundreds of why in my mind. I had enough and just leave my life alone before you get to see me in a different way. You will never know how I can curse your life. Leave my life alone. Gimme a break from rules. I'm totally pathetic already. Thank you in a polite way!

Liz?
I'm tired and clueless of thinking. What should I do now? There this noisy mind couldn't stay quiet. May I just go break the wall of stress? Why is there so many work haven't done and why must all done at a time? I caught fever almost a weak already. Now I'm feeling better and better. Actually, not literally... I'm getting more tired of works and already kick all of them like trash. Still my responsible right? I will complete it... How stupid. Don't blame me for saying this but I felt like a dog taking order from its person. How stupid am I? Don't have to be sorry because I'm a heartless dog to you. Fine. I won't take a break and do whatever you ask. But if I couldn't give a great quality just shut up and don't complain. I wish I could be the best for you but all things I do always wrong and a waste of time in your eyes. Yeah, totally idiot. I fervently say this.

April?
I guess there is no time for me to think too. I was captured deep in this darkness over my own shadow. Where is the way to get out? My responsible. I can't even stay out of trouble. Because I was shut down by this hole of breathless note. Where is my wings?

Dear,
You don't have to worry much about all this. I didn't start it all but I wanna stop it. There is no way to stop it. Can't be stop. They are the control device to stop it. No way they wanna stop that way and think broadly. How unfair is that? or whatever. Love you much and I just can't wait for June holiday's break. Just us living on grass with cold wind and beautiful sun light. How fantastic is that? All those shit walk away and just us and our friends that been so nice for us. 

Photograph?
I lost my inspiration from school, teachers and works. How can I take nice photograph again? They ruin my inspiration. I'm tired because of works... Too many. See my eyes. They are red in color and totally blur in motion. I can barely stay awake but fall by the time when lesson going on.

Popularity?
Nothing much important. Its completely useless. I don't need them anymore. Wasn't helpful at all.