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May 27, 2010

Holiday... Early Summer

So its the final day of the test. Finally examination is over. Totally great. Just great after 2 weeks suffer from that shit. However its not quite impressive. I know teacher. I'm doing suck. My apology. Nothing to do with my life. Its all about myself being arrogant and lost. I hate the condition of the test and completely ruin my studies. See how suck I'm doing. I bet I couldn't make it pass again this time. I'm ready for your lecture. Blame all you like... I'll be pretending as heartless... Probably.~

So hey... The evening today. Not much to do. Just have a sit at a restaurant nearby. Missing my girl over there. Tomorrow she'll be on a trip to somewhere else. Later then, I have a vacation. Miss her so much already. Hopefully there is time for us to meet during this break. I've been looking at her picture and dear... That smile never change whenever you're there by my side. In this moment. I learned something. That I'm very lucky that I belong to an angel sent from God above for me to love. I appreciate every single piece of her and happy every time she's just next to me. Everyday I feel love with her. My eyes was seduced to her heart. Permanently there. Lost interest for any other girl anymore. My heart was cursed by her love. Always her... And always hers. 

What's up with personality? Look? Appearance? Behavior? 
Its doesn't matter. Love isn't about the beauty of the rose. Its how the seed grows. Like a phrase said... 

'Once you love the ugliest of him or her. It makes no sense that they shouldn't be together. ' by  ... Forgot....

But my girl is a beautiful person. In side... Delighted... Out side. She has a beautiful look too. However, one quarter of my love is only to her look. The rest is about the person, her... That's more important because I love her from the person. That angel. Framed in a piece of photograph that I called love. Everyone deserve to love. Perfection comes from the heart when both couldn't see the ugliest of the person. All they could see is how perfect that person is. Then, you found a true love... Don't ever let it go and I'll never let her go. Let her sleep wrapped by my arms. I'll stay out the night watching and protect the princess of mine. Let her feel safe and special all the time... Always do. Yeah for the rest of my life.. Let me be there without even care of whatever people think. Love is our own fantasy. Our world. That belongs to us. :) ... 

Friends? Only a quarter of the number. Who will be standing by my side like right now. Where are the others? Gone somewhere else? Or... Don't remember me at all... It doesn't matter. You are still a friend of the digits.... 

What's important is... I'll be there living life of love. Which comes up with LOL ... In a better way. *Smile...

My heart, is your heart. My love, is your love.

P.S. Happy holiday and Jen ... I love you .. Miss you a lot.  *hug & kiss ~ 

May 23, 2010

Romance of Love~

Romance of love?
So many undiscovered true romance. Romance isn't just about giving flower or chocolate to a partner. Its about how honestly behave to your love one. Even writing a book for your love one can be romantic. Romantic to another guy is like doing something adorably idiot but as the matter of fact. Its not. It shows how much you care her or him more than yourself. Also shows you are willing to give your love one everything. However, everything? Be careful about that. Another partner is the key to make it goes well... Appreciation. It all need appreciation to give the partner confidence. Without it, they will feel stupid and regret it. However, no one shall regret it. Its worth being daring for a girl. I'm willing to.

Romance is the vein of love. Its a blood travels into a graduated level so things would working out way better than before. Love is like. Adoring someone you really wanna spend the rest of your life with without even doubling your heart. Having an affair or loving two person at a time show how greedy that person and also how least is that person love until can share it into two. That's not love. That's the worst thing...

Romance is always a fantasy of a couple. Its the most fantastic thing any couple would had in their very own way. I see how sexy, adorable and sweet things are. The sweetest thing my love ever did to me was the time when she wrapped her arms over one of my arm and leaning on my shoulder. I learnt that there is someone who adores me and giving me a tape of this broken heart. Wait. My heart never broke. It just started to born. With my precious love's one heart.

An unexpected kiss on my cheek. I was shut by the window of silence. I'm breathless. As time starting to be count. I was literally silence at the moment. I was amazed by my only girl who adores me so much and I bet she knows how much I adore her too. She's been there. Permanently remains mine in my only heart that can be sit in for one and only girl who deserves it. Finally, there isn't a space anymore. She takes the seat and laying there with her loveliness. Sweetheart I was comforted in your arms. I felt like I could close my eyes and whenever I wake up... You'll be there in the frame of my eyes. Smiling sweetly with the winds in your hair. I combed it with my fingers and its silky soft like your skin. Your body keep me warm and special whenever I was fenced by your arms.

Everything she did to me. Is totally sweet and romantic. Her sparkling eyes. I can see how much stars of mine in her deep brown eyes. There a sincere stare on my eyes. A contact of her sweetest blushed. Deep inside. I'll always in there.

Is an inspiration. Not just a relationship that eliminates my single status. Its that how I open my door for someone to be with me. Yeah, I already have someone. The only one.

I'll never let her go a single inch from me. She is the most variable thing in my life. The orbs of happiness. The ink to sketch my smile. The oxygen for me to breath. And lastly...

The love that makes me feel special... Appreciated. 

P.S. *Hug & kiss... Muahx... I love you dear.~ 


May 18, 2010

The Middle Of May~

I love adventure. I believe I'm strong. All the impossible I believe its nothing to me. When it comes to the edge. What's wrong poor little boy? Are you afraid.


Actually. no... I'm not afraid to try. I'm just scared... I'm afraid someday when I did something. I'll lost something too...

A friend of mine called me perfect. My perfection is always a mystery. No I'm not. I have a scar on my back, cancer on my skin, broken knee on the left and also deep voice that destroy my voice. What's the perfection is about? I felt pathetic...

Nobody is perfect. However love is my perfection. Its the battery of my day that keeps me strong and happy. I never know the definition of happiness. All I know is...

'I should keep trying to find my happiness.'

Down on my camera lens. I saw my patient. Not literally, I'm still impatient. From the shutter and the frame. I guess its obvious there is a missing spot. The smile. No I can't smile. If I can't I won't smile. I'll be honest.~ When I do. Then, I sincerely just did. So many things over my head. All shows I've been rushing in some kind of craze. What the hell is that? My lesson. Study... Photography? No, I have it. Just there are things touch my head to the surface of a puzzle. My teacher told me I have a negative issue. That I'm not easy to be understand. I just wonder... Is it?

Can anybody understand my words? Literally? Or just had the image but don't get the point. No I have a point there. Its obviously stated. Maybe it takes a little more harder to understand but here is the things. Its all related t me and people around me. The fantastic frame of life into every eyes that I saw. There is this sparkling eyes I couldn't forget. Her eyes.... Amazing. ~ She got me lost into it.

Her touch,
I'm comforted and happy. I'm glad. I'm thankful. I'm... Everything.

There is a wing in a battle.
Where all man shall stand their feet for their country.

The battlefield, they spoke the language as a warrior. No mercy. No friendship. No rules. No religion.
Its a war. Stop it.

"Poor little boy. Blind to see the world. 
Poor little boy. Deaf to hear the life.
Poor little boy. Eliminate by bullets.
I dream. There is no guns and weapons.
No war." -Liz~ 

Love? Relationship?
Love and relationship are two things. It shows a level. From a love lead to relationship.  Or maybe the opposite. Love couldn't be answer sometime. Not all love are perfect. When a couple love one another so much. Just them. That'll be perfect.

For the word of lust? Cheating? Hook-up?
All these just another senseless note. That couldn't be done or eliminate... Just on a repetitive note. but hey? Human can change right? Just doesn't sense. If human is able to change. Of course but not a lot of them... Can the broken heart be fix? Is there gonna be another chance to tape their heart? Do you feel that... Guilt? I don't know. I come from an unknown past. A deep shadow that nobody could accept me. After I found this light. Here I'm standing as a good person. I always wanna be that. Maybe I did took the wrong pace but hey. Peoples accept me the way I am without even knowing my past and even with them who know. Its like a new trend...That is accepted by those who loves funky style...

I used to be the punk in the street. Not that punk where they made a definition as we are trash. No we are not. We just hate rules. Freedom is a blood in our 'life'. I used to be that. Maybe now I changed a lot. For the past friends that walk on the same journey with me. Where are you now? Do you notice the differences? Or maybe... I'm getting less important. Actually yeah I am. But it doesn't matter. All person have their journey. What we've been planning before is a funny journey. I couldn't forget that we are totally dreamers who dream in their dream.

Its the week of examination going. I'm totally sleeping and relaxing. Advices doesn't totally work on me. I'm just walking and walking... And walking... What am I trying to achieve? Why am I stopping from a dream. Why I don't care? Why must I?

I want my freedom. Its been missing lately... Sadly. No... Not really. I can live this way. I'll appreciate this fantastic time. And.... happy teacher's day...... I'm sorry for skipping my work. Not entering class because I have activities. Sorry if my work is just a photocopy machine. Lastly...

For saying I don't like teachers. Its because they have broken into my privacy. However, happy teacher's day. God bless you all. On my knee I promised... To be better after holiday's break. You have my word. You can trust me...

P.S. I miss you dear. After this 2 weeks. We'll have our time together again :). Love you. 
Hug & kiss,

May 13, 2010

It Wasn't A Dream

When I got up from my bed after a sweet dream... Scared, sad, happy and a lot of expression... Here is the thing...

It wasn't about a dream.

Her touch. It makes me realize. I'm alive and should live longer. I stated it there. I found my treasure. Something very important to me. The girl I wanna spend the rest of my life with, Her~

From a hug. A word of 'yes!'. To be my partner. I started to think and be more ready. What if it was a dream? I'll be crying the time when I got up or I'll be praying I never got up from my sleep. Didn't expect. It wasn't a dream. Not my fantasy.... Not even my fantasy. Its all real. Her touch. I believe it...

Until today. She's being wrapped by my arms. I feel very happy and each day my love keep getting deeper goes deeper. I'm in so deep. Couldn't describe it but she's the only girl I could tell how much I love her. In my entire love.. There wasn't a girl I love this way before. Its all because of perfection on look. Right now I understand. What's the definition of love is about. Ain't about popularity, personality, appearance or even perfection. She's very perfect for me. Maybe she didn't realize. She's my perfect love.

Here is the thing,
Its not a dream. I was just in an extreme shocked. What I expect... Just happened way better than I thought. She's amazing. Just that I'm still dreaming in my own fantasy. Right now I realize. After a long time still... Its not a dream. I'm very happy :) . Luck of love stand by me right now. Thank you~

Her loveliness... An inspiration. I was falling extremely deep for her heart. Her touch. I could fall asleep over her wrapping arms.

*Its a short post. Not much time I could type dear.

P.S. Muahx~ Love you...


May 09, 2010

Things To Be Check? Unfairness?

Here is the thing I saw with my eyes. Not literally... Sort of. Now here is the thing. Unfairness conclusion?

Just doesn't make sense.

All things here in life state all over the world. Things are equal. However, it always unfair. Kidz don't have the right to voice out loud. Elder gets the power and strength to earn the good. Some certain note for the page on this pace. Just doesn't make any sense. It shows a selfishness and arrogance of a person who trying to be competitive and to earn the 'right'. Too bad the things about the 'right' is. It just another senseless justice. Did I mention justice? Don't get it wrong. The word just not suitable for this condition. We always wanted something real bad but do they know that number doesn't actually shows a position or right to stand on? By?

Just doesn't make sense...

How unfair is it to be judge wrongly from the number of age? As if like this guy is older a year than this little girl so this girl is labeled as an idiot. Is it true that way? Late December on Christmas's Eve. About gift from 'Santa Claus' or parents. Jealousy counted from the difference between ages and prices of the gift. Must an older person deserves something way more expensive as the length of the age? They don't understand younger person because according to the state of age. Elder knows better and younger still learning. The note of the day could only be noted saying 'I hate this & that..!' I wonder how many voices are there. Whispering as desperate as an 'obsessive ball' in Baseball. Here is the things. May I hear something more important?

This little boy trying tell his mum about something. Trying to do something nice with a single thing... Like surprise. Too bad mum said. "It just an excuse... Old trick." Fall those tears to that little boy face and there it goes. They started to call you 'over acting'. Before the time you get to start. You start to think about what will they say and then you started to get mad and there it goes... You think they will hate you.

Always loves her child. Doesn't matter how bad her child is... When your time gets close to the pace of death. They started to think about taking your place. Let them receive the death but not you. You are still young & idiot. Now you realized how stupid you'd been. Here is the thing. You deserve a second chance. Too bad mum couldn't replace you position now.Even your dad too.
(True story by AD Leong)

New year?
Just a new change. A better change. Ain't about the best but just amazing. I found something really important. My dearest love. The only things where its like a starter of my day. An ink to sketch my smile. She's everything I ask for. Ain't nothing bout the outer perfection but she's a very beautiful girl. Inner? She's an angel sent from God above... For me to love. Thank you. I always appreciate her. Very much with love...

Just who am I now? No one than a school photographer. Lately? There are more than myself already. So I guess I'm getting less needed as a photographer. However when it comes to a big event. Important and special. I was placed number as the head. I just wonder... How am I suppose to look without my camera?

Finally it all over. Still... All those work never leave me alone. I started to ignore what teachers said and go on my own way which just keep being patience with all the words. So I won't be eaten by their words. I just know that I can't be what they want. Its all about the works given. I don't have the time. I hate the works given. It always killing me to think. If only the works would be less and less. I could settle the other things first. Maybe I might start up and be more hardworking to sharp my fingers & skill. Too bad... Works getting more & more. I could just settle and keep doing the past work. Where am I now?

In the back of forward. Sort of idiot? Totally. I'm young & stupid. That's what they think about me. I know nothing more than just complaining. I wasn't even complaining... I just trying to be broad & open for sharing my feelings as what I am. My life isn't about a beautiful happiness or fantasy.

My life story?
Is just about how hard for me to be happy. All I know in my life is keep trying to be happy. I learnt to smile but I'm still sad it wasn't sincere enough. However something made me happy. Drawn me an unpredictable smile... Love.

She made me smile.
She made me happy.
She made me do crazy things.
She gave me strength to be strong.
She's an inspiration.
She's everything.
One part of my heart.

A quarter of friends. I not quite know them but when you get close to them... I learnt that not every people that have something bad are completely disaster. How bad is that person you think. You should know how nice they are actually. I just saw with my naked eyes. I state myself right now. I'm a quarter from right.

My life isn't about perfection. See under my shadow. This is my life. I never regret for it. See how suck is it but even how suck it is... I still happy and think its amazing,... Love, career & friends. What's better than avoiding the pain that destroy your happiness? You deserve it. Ignore those shits. Nothing is perfect. Be happy for what you had & be patient for what killing you~


May 06, 2010

Hopeless Cry?

Looking into the mirror... I saw myself. This is who you are. Remember who you are~

Recently I just flow back to my shadow from the past. I was controlled by emotion. Some part that touch my jealousy, anger & emotion. I started to forget who am I...

My powerless hand. Was controlled by the strength of my shadow. Darkness kept me strong. However, the stinger I'll be melted with. The worse the ending would be. A silent night with sound of a pace. Walking toward... And forward. Lately its getting closer. My craziness.

I'm searching for death. Sort of a pace to hell. I was guided by emotion. Nothing more but not myself. That girl of my love. Was there in the same spot. I was melted by the touch of love. I trust her more than I know. I always trust her love for me. There are like thousands of curse out there. I'm that poor little guy standing over those shadow. I fear those pace. I fear it. The more it gets closer.. I'm afraid of looking at the mirror.

'Who is that Liz? Is that gotta be you?'

My hand holding my own fist. Trying to fight my own mandiness of fighting. I'm not strong but I'm angry. All those anger could change myself. To that desperate little monster. Scream of emotion, red eyes of anger & poor sadness, shivering cold fist of craziness and poor little heart of a warrior.

Fight! Fight! FIGHT!

A voice whisper in my heart. Don't ever let your honor fall disrespected that way. However, ignorance would have keep everything quiet.... and yes... I just did.

I suffer the pain. A real big change in my life. Still...

I'm that little warrior who keep fighting by stepping away from the past. I just did. I could done it with my weak heart of love. My heart is always loosing its strength for her. She makes me feel like the wind.

I'm playing for her attention. Every time I get to see her smile. I just feel great and happy.

Some certain things. I still don't get myself. I'm tired and suffering from this wondering mind. Why am I acting this way? I'm confuse and clueless... Totally.Publish Post

P.S. I miss you dear~

Love & kiss,

May 01, 2010

New Month? I Wanna Make Wish

Over years that past. I never know if there is a word I can hold on. Over days that gone, I never know what ever regret with. Over the time that past. I started to think that actually we all won't regret anything if it all goes well. If it suck down to the bottom of your feet then you'll be like why... Why does it all goes this way? However, I believe a thing. That however suck it is. There will be something better to arrive and it'll change your mind.

What am I trying to wish?
Or what am I wishing for?

I don't expect sympathy or pity but I thank you for everything. I'm man enough to understand. I'm just a person with a weak heart that was control by its emotion. Well, that little person is always me. Whether they like me, or opposite? I still don't understand. Why? Maybe I'm just too sensitive & blindly judge? or maybe my words are totally mean to stab someone real bad? Or maybe?...

It doesn't matter ~

How I always wish my time could slow a little slower and skip a little faster. I'm selfish. Of course for myself. However I never forget about being patient. I might be impatient but still I can be what I say.


Its cold out there. Is it going to rain? I don't know. Here is a poem I wrote... 

'Gaze into her eyes,
I saw an angel melts me down,
An angel sent from God above,
For me to love,
And lights up my spirit.

The door of my heart,
Will always widely open,
Those beautiful flare,
Could be seen sharply exposed,
Those lights vertically lights down,
To the ground of journey,
It all started.

At the bottom line,
I could see myself,
As a little boy,
Telling myself,
That I shall cry no more.

May those dark shadow falls,
By the time it gets to start,
But this little warrior,
Fallen by its heart,
Staying away from himself,
But turning into something way better than this.'

*Thou shall know,
There always gotta a chance,
A sincere heart,
God will listen...

Here is my wish...
Stated here 4.30 PM by the first day of the month, May.

"May" I start up with the month of May.
"May" I request a permission.
"May" The month of an unpredictable soul.

I wish starting from today... 
I could be better and better.
I could be stronger and stronger.
I could be...

As long as emotion won't get the board to rule my life~