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July 28, 2010

I Need You~

Thing doesn't seems good right now. She always gives me direction to be a better person but I fail to show her my changes. I'm really sorry. My ego, I get it. I realize it. I was a loner traveler on my journey. Now I'm lost, its not that she didn't gives me direction but I made the wrong move. Fail step, wrong pace. Here it goes, I'm so fucked up.

I'm falling on the middle pace but dear... Are you gonna carry me up at where I fall and run with me on the same journey? Are you going to gimme your hand and let me get up and follow the right direction? Will you give me a chance to prove I'll change? Will you dear? I need your love, its my strength and support. I'm sorry because I disappoint you. I'm just a fallen boy with no perfection on the ground and need strength for me to stand up... And I won't let you down again. Please?

I'm weak and useless... I'm just pathetic. 

"Its all about Liz"... Not anymore. This page is just a box. Filling with black & white notes. I need the opportunity for me to chance and reset the Liz I am. I need a chance for the sake of our love to blossom in the rainy summer. I need you to hold me and comfort me with your heat.

I really need her... 

I put all my fingers together and trying to reach you, I'm sorry for everything. I'm not getting better but I'm just getting badder. Really, I can change. I really want to... I wish you'll gimme a chance to be who you wanted and I really wanna be that person over your heart. That's because I love you and I'm willing to do anything for you. Doesn't matter where to go but I'll step my feet for the happiness to achieve. I'll follow the guide way and right feeling. I need you........

and I miss you...... 


July 26, 2010


There is a line where people always say,
"I will wait for you no matter how long..."

However, some just say it as a label of a beauty but in the end. Nope, not as long as how they say it but it just the length of the words. Here is a thing....

*Don't keep him waiting,
I disagree with this way. If a guy really loves the girl, just keep him waiting. See how long could it be and believe me... You'll never end up as a broken heart cause you'll cry when you made it that far. I felt that. I waited for as long as my girlfriend prepared for me to be my girlfriend and it wasn't a short time of waiting. I waited with lots of patient trying to be hers and here I am taken. Its been 4 months already. How long I waited for her? Is the huge number but that doesn't matter because the numbers of waiting, I'll never get sick, the amount of love, it'll never reduce. Dear, Liz is missing you...

-If the guy can't wait any longer and have other?
So? Let it be... He don't deserves you. I tell you one thing, that's an obsession to be in relationship or maybe a desperation on sugar. A sincere love isn't just a snap of finger. It takes a lot of passion. The eyes contact and the tears in it. By the time we realize, its a beautiful journey we made it so far.

-Why wait if can't wait?
Saying that he'll be waiting for her is another lie. What make it worse is that it just a fake hope. Girls always a mystery. It takes time to deliver the love inside and to be clear with their decision. A desperation or rush from the guy? Better just fine a better one. Maybe not in a short time. It takes more than that. Just wait... You'll see a light by the next morning or the upcoming days. There's no need to rush. Not to be in hurry. Keep searching and waiting for the right one. When it comes to the pace, make a strong decision. Forget lust.

Nothing comes with a finger snap. We're not superhuman. Just ordinary person with no perfection. Your braveness and calm heart. That what makes thing repay you with an unexpected gift. The biggest gift will be your achievement, that you made it so far. You should be proud of it...

Is always a sweet sound where the melodies played in my mind. Her smile keeps my heart weak and happy. I achieve one happiness inside me... And I know this time,
This smile,
All the laugh,
The happiness,
Really sincere :) 


July 12, 2010


No I'm not perfect.
This page I made is just to show you my life,
Although things I wrote might sound fantastic and amazing,
But my life here ain't perfect...
Only she could make it perfect~

Its All About Liz,
A journal of mine,
Each word telling every single pace I made,
Each word describe every feelings in me,
Each word is not my perfection.

I tell you I'm a bad liar. So what's the use of lying? Honestly...  Imma make one confession here. I'll show everyone the same thing I told my girl and the truth of me.

"I love you Jen,
There's is nobody in my heart except you,
I know so many what happened before made you jealous,
But that was a joke,
And I'm not a nice guy last time,
I'm changed dear,
For you,
You gotta believe me.

I changed for you,
I change to be more mature,
And right now I understand,
All the time Id been very immature,
And stupid...

I forgot one thing,
Your feelings...

I feel very guilty,
And Imma put every part into words,
Sending you an apology,
Pls forgive me~

I know how you feel dear,
If Im in your place,
I will feel the same thing like you do,
But I changed for you,
And it never happen again I swear,
But one thing I want you to know...

I LOVE YOU & only~

Nobody else in my heart... And that statement will never change.
I'm yours and only,
No one will ever have me,
And I will never have anyone except you..."

July 08, 2010

A Run Of Dream

Don't cry... Run...

Why are we running

And what are we running for?

For the good? or somehow we just act like loser? No we are not. Me? I'm not running from problems. I actually did but I'll never get so much far from it because I know today I'll be running from things, tomorrow? It'll be different.

What am I running from?
Those shits out there that's killing me. That keeps me cry in a silent voices of my heart. I couldn't make it so far from my own trouble I'm getting into. All those undone craps left on the desk, at the bottom of my shoe, a disrespectful manner of mine. Every time I keep running, the more tears will fall to my face. Once she appears in front of an edge, I stop and smile. A hug that keeps me calm. The winds in her hair, the touch of an angel and the smell of love. I was fallen deep into my weakness. It keeps me comfortable and relax. As its like, there's no doubt we couldn't get through it. A tears of laugh, I could picture a flare in my eyes.

Run and run... No don't give up. Keep up running! There's no point of giving up. It just miles away...

Once you stop, you couldn't make it through. Its okay cause there's another day. Just keep trying... Don't ever give up.

Run Liz run... What am I running for?

An honor to live in my life. Slowly I learn from my relationship with the only girl I have until I could write a long definition of love, an inspiration. No I ain't gonna run from things again. I'll be the man brave enough that could face things right. I should be better than this because when I believe to myself, I can do it.

All the time I'd learned from my teacher is just funny. They don't teach me to understand but I learned to listen. Listen from the shadow, thoughts, journey, road and heart.

"People think with their eyes"

We should run for something. Not running away from it and never forget to follow our heart.

In this life,
People should not follow the way or peoples' thought. I just follow my heart because in this life for all time long I'd been into. I just know I forgot something. I'm running for my feelings. I did all this is to achieve the most important thing in my life...


and I found one precious happiness,
To be her angel.

Its like a dice. Not all the time you'll get "1"..