Years after years. I thought I almost forgot. However I was surprise I could remember them. Flashing back would not be a pretty bad idea. I remember the old me I used to be, which I could divide the other side of me without bothering my personalities. When I get old, I get greedy. Before I used to be so brave about what I could face. However, I could never be that brave again. It was part of me playing my own games. Pretending. There was never a diary called Valentine. She was the other side of me I used to hide. From now on, I just wanna be true. That's what I learned ever since I get to be with my girlfriend. She's not just a random girl who appear to be inside my story. She was the one who was always there in my chapter ever since my journey of finding the light begin. For years now, I still couldn't find the light that I was reaching for but I reach her. I finally could stumble through those rock that block my road from her.
"I got her hands now" .
My name is Liz Valentine. That was the old me when I was a kid. I named myself that way. The fact is I'm a multiple person. For years after my first darkest history, I made her exist in me. Up until now, she was always there inside of me. Its part of myself I can never forget. I guess for now I should have remembered how important she was. She was my only spirit who gets me there to face my own fear. She was the only one that could bring me to live for another day. She was always me. I made her that way to separate my fear from my own weakness and body. My name is Liz Valentine. I could be anything from the land of the shadow and the land of the earth.
"I'm just another normal human but I'm different."
For years now I look through what I have left on my words. There are many of them. There were things I used to love but I end up hating them. Those memories of school were rubbish I had wasted. False alarm. There was never a true friendship exist in my own chapter. I was only alone at school. Those people there were never nice to me. All they know is catching the trend of the craps among this life. They never took my words seriously but all they could do is making me wrong. I never ask anyone to bother. If life is that suck please leave it with me. Wait til I found my blade of the rebellion and found the land of my past. Then I could help everyone washing this life away and delete the whole existence of me.
"It was never a mistake to be born."
There were fishes in the sea swimming like a real fish. I have never get the chance in my life to step into the water and live like the fish. I hate to be in the water because I fear of the outcomes. Its a total mystery no one can discover. What's in the water deep down inside. Someday, we will discover the secret of the world.
If the sky could ever turns red, I would walk my pace to my garden of the death. The place where each and every loser in my eyes turned dead to the land of my own and live with desperation of breathe like their life was. When the sky turns red, be prepare. I'll be there for the world. Not to play a false game. Its not a game people, its not a routine. Its a definition I will write for your own dictionary, where my chapter will be writing for you, with your own blood.
"Welcome home Valentine..." I was always there. So did I... Nobody tell me what to do, nobody can tell me how my life is and nobody can ask me to shut up.